I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
