every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
