God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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