i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
