have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
