Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
