i would punch a child for taco bell
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
