Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
