I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
