just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
