i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
