Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
