shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
