I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
