What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
