tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
