I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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