Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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