do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
