I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize