I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
