I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
