is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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