I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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