I wish I only lived at night.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
