Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
