i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize