i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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