i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
