Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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