I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize