Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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