I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You pole danced in your parka.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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