Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So here I am, sexting at work.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
