the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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