I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Enjoy the penises
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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