This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
