Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize