did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
