i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
