Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
