new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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