You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you didnt know i had herpes?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
