She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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