We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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