i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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