I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
