An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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