Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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