are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
