I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
no you cant smoke seaweed
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I am one with the molecules
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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