we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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