pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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