At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
