Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
two words: eviction party
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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